Where Are You?

by Amaya Rodriguez
(San Jose, CA)

I don't know a lot of things,

but I do know one thing.

I know that even though I said I hated you,

I actually meant that I was sorry,

and I bet that you know that those words could never be true.

We were fading and I was trying everything I could to stop it from happening.

But there was nothing I could do.

You promised me that everything would stay the same.

Even though you lied, I can't blame you.

Cause this wasn't the first time that you didn't follow up what you'd say you do.

I wish that we were able to know when our relationships were going to slow.

Because I wasn't quite ready yet for you to go.

I pretend that everything is okay.

I walk around with the fakest smile on my face everyday.

But I know that I can't continue to run away from my problems, cause there's always a price to pay.

And it's getting harder to handle everyday since you put me on delay..

I want to bang my head against the wall until the thought of you goes away,

And I want to tear my heart apart so I can forget everything you used to say.

So yeah, I guess you can say that I am mentally exhausted from all the games you played.

All those times you manipulated me into thinking that I was nothing without you,

And right now I'm not sure what I should do.

I don't know how to live without you cause you were the only love I knew.

The worst part of all this.. is that I still love you.

Cause I'm not sure if I would have wanted to walk away when I first met you,

Even if I knew the pain you were going to put me through.

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