Torn

by Paul James Morphew
(Ypsilanti, MI United States of America)

Paul James Morphew
04/08/2014

Torn

VERSE #1
Scrawny looking rich kid
Born into existence
Gained everything in an instant
Still feeling he was different
Surrounded by the luxury but never finding head sense
Lashed out in civil society building up his fences
Still never got the concept of propriety just infinite expenses
Took all his problems from his guardians and became the dense kid
Smarter than all his peers but his brain is wasted
Trying to distract him from his fears with every single invention
Gaming here screening there no time for intervention
Gain the weight and grow the hate leave it all to tension
Watch it grow watch it break then see him crash in his dimension
Face the age where it all goes down and watch his transformation
Tossed and caged then thrown out time for another explanation
One landlord down now time to fight the next taker in this creation
My fists won’t work my mind’s berserk how am I supposed to find protection
The beast unleashed but not my turn instead it comes from lack of my discretion
I know I’m bad but this can’t be the answer beating me down like I’m your cancer
And I can’t even see it now I try to be the dancer
Dance around try to block you out but you just keep coming like an advancer
So what if I’m related to you that don’t give you the excuse to tighten my noose
And let the pain build up just to let the demons loose
I’m not gonna fight you I’m gonna fight me
This ain’t about any of you it’s about me
My own fight starts from inside don’t you see
This is my fight my life I am my own worst enemy

CHORUS
Rich kid to pit kid
Living the life to living the sty
Moaning and groaning
But then praising the sky
Take that stick from inside your eye
Wait til it clicks and quit asking why
Taking a lesson
Another confession
Quit asking why
Quit asking why
It’s just your life

VERSE #2
Now I’m finding myself spiraling downward drifting through Hell
I’m trying to figure out where I’m at and where I fell
Who I am I can’t even tell
White room my doom do I hear a bell
I’m strapped to a gurney and I’m thinking it’s over
I’m tired of this life call my attorney I choose to live no longer
Now I’m literally messed up in the place where they throw you if they don’t know what to do
Surrounded by the screams and the barred off screens and the pitiful scenes now here I get a dose of truth
Drug me up and leave me to die you can’t even remember my name doc you don’t even know why
But I gotta sit there and smile at you while inside I might die
Yeah everything’s fine just get me outta this Hell hole and into the sty
Far be it from me to question the direction when I’m living the consequences of my own imperfections But don’t you think one dose of reality is enough for me oh no you got me facing my reflection and my path has switched entirely from a forward to a backward traction lack of direction
Now I’m pulling up to a house full of old farts that are part of the infection
Not doing nothing for no one just check the mail for your pay
Naw it’s alright you don’t have to lift a finger today
Just sit there and dwell in your shame hate every bit of your life and drive me insane thinking I’m on my way to become what I see nah I ain’t gonna let me go that way
So I guess this is just a test so many times I’ve heard of it but felt like I was blessed
Now I’m praising having one meal one day and a roof over my head and a bed where I lay and I’m wasting away fighting every bit of depressed
How did I get myself from a life of luxury to lower than dirt and this mess
Surrounded by a drug addict a drunk and an alcoholic with yellow eyes gonna die in a few months or possibly less
Is this what I get for complaining about everything that I had
Now I’m hauling everything that I own and all on my back
I’m paying my toll for the times I thought that it was as bad as bad could be
Now look at me groaning and moaning and I got no one to hear me
It’s just me and the cross that I bare
Only explanation that I survive from that point to get there
And all the time I’m praying I end up who knows where
The stuff I took for granted now I’m starting to care
Who’d a thought hygiene was a luxury until you live in the pits of despair

CHORUS
Rich kid to pit kid
Living the life to living the sty
Moaning and groaning
But then praising the sky
Take that stick from inside your eye
Wait til it clicks and quit asking why
Taking a lesson
Another confession
Quit asking why
Quit asking why
It’s just your life

VERSE #3
From house to house I bounce and bounce
Trying to steer clear of the fifths and ounce
But had to show my crew so that they won’t doubt
After all when it all goes down I need some protection or that’s it I’m out
In the end they turned on me for getting in between their girls and their cheating
Where I come from you gotta be a man and be decent
But they treated these girls like trash left over from the weekend
But I wasn’t trying to get in the middle of their beefing
But when I happen to be in their way there’s nothing more to say
Try to pull me outta the car and played piñata with my face
Now I’m broken and bleeding and I’m stuck in this place
The authorities ignore my claim
Wash it down the drain
Rip it in half right in front of my face
Now I’m on my way back to the Hellest of place
With confusion in my heart and ice on my face
Why didn’t I tear em apart why didn’t I blow them away
Oh well nothing to do now but pray pray pray
So here I am on my way to a shelter away from the Hell but towards the Heller
When an Angel rescues me for a short time
But she ain’t all there and lets it get to her mind
Leaves me stranded one day thinking I’m fine
But one dead end after another I’m ready this time
So here comes another savior and I’m dying I cried
This time it’s the one who started this spiral and now she came back just to try
So I got in her car and I hid all the scars and tried to enjoy the free ride
Back to the luxury and the blessings from above me but too many demons attacking inside

CHORUS
Rich kid to pit kid
Living the life to living the sty
Moaning and groaning
But then praising the sky
Take that stick from inside your eye
Wait til it clicks and quit asking why
Taking a lesson
Another confession
Quit asking why
Quit asking why
It’s just your life

VERSE #4
Back to the life I knew and I wasn’t gonna screw it this time
But before long the same pattern presented and again I be frying
I feel like I gotta sabotage inside me
Nothing I can do but try to hide me
Hold it all in until it stops on trying
To push me back and hold me up til I’m no longer dying
So here I am again homeless and hopeless but near the home I’m accustomed
So now instead of being miles apart I’m down the street with nothing to eat but I’m adjusting
Living with a drug addict and the drama just enough to be busting
Every single part of me one piece at a time I feel like I’m rusting
Working two jobs no break no sleep still trying to find stuff to eat all the while I’m cussing
Cursing the ground cursing the sounds cursing you God until I fall down
It just seems like in all of this chaos that you’re not even around
But then hallelujah my own place I found
So now I’m praising the skies again I’m feeling alive again
But it only lasts so long before I die inside again
And I’m fighting it
I’m not liking it
I can feel the noose I’m tightening it
I don’t like where this is going I can hear the enlightenment
Epiphany taking me to where I’d rather spit
Sirens coming for me and I’m seeing the light
Try to take my place try to take my life
Now here I face alone cold nights
Alone in a cell until I see the light
I thought it was bad now it’s much worse when am I gonna learn this life
I once was blind but now I gained the sight
So now I’m counting down the days and sit tight
But freedom comes with a price

CHORUS
Rich kid to pit kid
Living the life to living the sty
Moaning and groaning
But then praising the sky
Take that stick from inside your eye
Wait til it clicks and quit asking why
Taking a lesson
Another confession
Quit asking why
Quit asking why
It’s just your life

ENDING
Release me back into society
I’m ready for yall come at me
I’ll play the good guy turn the other cheek
Now how do I go about living with this chain around my neck and nothing to eat
Door after door slams in my face
And the only place that I find is back to the state
Where I first went blind and started the chase
Now I got no choice no roof over my head because of my case
Sooner or later I’ll break free of these chains
Sure enough one year later God tugged on my reins
How’s that for a savior now I’m just facing my shame
Living at a motel where I got nothing to gain
But then He got me outta that as well and now I’m back to the game
With a roof over my head you better believe that I’m fed
And the painful life that I lead is slowly being washed away
Thank you God for the test of Faith

CHORUS
Rich kid to pit kid
Living the life to living the sty
Moaning and groaning
But then praising the sky
Take that stick from inside your eye
Wait til it clicks and quit asking why
Taking a lesson
Another confession
Quit asking why
Quit asking why
It’s just your life

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