I just had a baby

by Jeremy Watson
(Las Vegas)

I just had a baby. And it just learned how to walk. I just had a baby, and it just learned how to talk.
I just had a baby, and it just learned how to dance, I just had a baby, and it just shat its pants.
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I just had a baby, and it needs to be potty trained. I just had a baby, 3 months later, still untrained.
I just had a baby, and it just won’t go to sleep, I just had a baby, and the diapers aren’t so cheap.
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I JUST HAD A BABY, REALIZED IT’S A LIVING HELL, I JUST HAD A BABY, AND IT MAKES ME WANNA YELL!
I just had a baby, realized its super cute :D, I just had a baby, so cute in its baby suit.
I just had a baby, realized it isn’t mine. Never lost my virginity, I found it at a bus line.
So wait, let me get this straight.
I never lost my virginity, so how can it be mine? I guess that my destiny has been lying this whole time.
So that means I don’t have to keep it, I can throw it out! Back where I found it on the 87 route.
But I’ve grown so attached to this baby, can’t bear to see it go; I guess I’ll give it to my impotent cousin in Idaho.

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