How I am

by Dawson Silvas
(Satsop Wa. )

I walk around asking my self Is Heaven real? Is it fake? Where`s the Holy Ghost at? It`s gon`be hard to put me back on track. Next Jehovah`s Witness comes on my porch, I swear I`m slam`in the door. Human`s are fucking dumb, i`m just saying I ant heard shit from the dog`s mouth. Just cat`s always telling stories of older guys. Who were notarized by you when you finally vocalized. Now I`m supposed to bow my head and close my eyes and somehow let the Holy Ghost arise, sounds like a fucking poltergeist. I`m fucking done. My life`s all I got heaven`s all in my brain. Id be ashamed if I cursed in your name. This my life not a game. I live to the fullest not for the holiest. I just sit back and go with the flow will you row`in the boat. This better not be no joke no hocks. This is our home. This is the place we treat like Rome. We behold this house like it`s gold. You better treat it like it was your own. You belong here no doubt. You keep the devil out. Because that`s not what I`m about. I think of you as a father I never had. Damn isn't that sad. Never knew my real dad he was always drunk runn`in around. I let down my guard. Waiting around for a dad that never did. I gave it up I quit. I don`t have time for this shit. Searching high and low now I`m grown. I think it`s time to leave it alone. Quit picking the bone. Let it die down. Iv`e tried suicide every time I fucking survived. Tried marijuana lead to drama. I don`t know what to do anymore hate my life and were I`m at that`s a fact. They gave me life but I don`t know how to give it back. I tried explaining what was wrong. Spoke of what was done, They provoked me to leave. That`s all I really need to achieve that`s all I ever wanted. To get up and walk out get my own place. To hang my coat and place my shoes. That`s the place I`ll be happy to call my own.

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