Here's To Alcohol!
by Anthony Soza
(Reedlry, Ca, USA)
She-ee said "I met someone, so you and I are done and by the way it sucked while it lasted"/ Without a word jumped in her car, tore ass to the bar intent on getting blasted/ Kicked off happy hour with a beer and whiskey sour and some 80 proof bacardi/ Bartender, my friend, please set em up again, I have not yet begun to party
Five different kinds of alcohol served up in a tall glass by a purrdy lady/ Jack & Honey Jack, Johnny Walker Red & Black topped off with a shot of Baileys/ Whiskey, Rum & Gin to ease my sufferin' a Jager Bomb or two/ Cabo Wabo, So Co, Fireball & Cuervo help me make it through
Good God, I been drinkin' all day/ I been mixing up my liquor in every which way/ People that I talk to be like "What'd he say?"/ Gonna feel like sh*t tomorrow, feel mighty fine today
Here's to heartbreak & sudden goodbyes/ Heres to wasted trust & women who lie/ Heres to dive bars & drinkin' sh*t off your mind/
But most of all heres to the one thing to help get you through it all, Heres to alcohol!
Double fisted drinks in hand was stumbling past the band and all the line dancers all in sync/ Tripped, my ass went flying, shuffling for my life, somehow landed on my feet/ "Hey! Do that one more time!" yelled the dancers in a line as I limped off and tried to hide/ My little stumble-shuffle theyre now calling The Shumble and theyre doing it nationwide (think I broke something inside)
Last call and I was chattin' up a lil latin buttercup, a lil lonely senorita/ "Whats your name? Whats your sign? Do you come here all the time? Eres muy bonita"/ "Time to close, think you might wanna grab a late bite?" least I thought thats what I said/ Her dirty look of pity said "timmme tocllllossse thiiiinbleh" was what she heard instead (conversation just went dead)
Heres to staying drunk all the time just to get by/ Heres to being alone with no more "one more try"s/ Heres to lyin eyes and dirty alibis/ Heres to all the lies she'll tell her brand new guy/ But most of all, after the fall.....Heres to what'll get you through it all: Heres to alcohol!